A Perfect Day

I can't let this much time go in between posts because there's way to much now to update! The last two weeks have followed the same up and down pattern that we've been going through since Bela's birth, but as of today things are looking very up and we REALLY hope they stay that way. Since we've been home after her sternal debredement(the surgery she had for her infection) it's been non-stop craziness around here. Feeding Bela, giving extra feeds through the NG tube after I feed Bela, pumping to give Bela those extra feeds and her night time feeds, giving her 4 normal meds twice daily, her antiobiotic three times daily, getting the milk thawed and mixed with formula and setting up the pump for her nightime feeds, adding more milk all through the night, changing, dressing, re-dressing because of constant spitting up due to her acid reflux, holding her contanstly because that's the only way she's really happy, talking on the phone to all her doctors various times a day, dealing with bill after bill that keeps being filed wrong, her daily apointments with her two home nurses, appointments at St. Joe's, and monitoring her stats with her pulse ox are just a few of the things that are causing all the craziness. Then there's Bensons list which is almost as long. NOt complaining at all, that's just why I havn't really surfaced in awhile.. I'm busy, to say the least. It's a good kind of busy.
Last week Bela was having lots of diarreah and lost a whole 5 ounces. I know that dosn't seem like a lot but she worked too darn hard for those 5 ounces to lose them. Now we're pushed even further back from her goal weight so we're playing more catch up. She wasn't absorbing the formula she was on so we've switched her again. On tuesday she was back up 2 1/2 ounces (making her weigh in at a whopping 7 lbs. 8 ounces at 9 1/2 weeks old). She's such a little tiny peanut, and oh so cute. I'll post lots of pictures with this post... Anyway, today she'll get weighed again and we are really rooting for a couple ounces up. She also had a bad cough last week (from her big brother who got it from nursery..) and so was working so hard to fight off the virus that her little body couldn't do that and gain weight at the same time. Now that she's almost all better and we've gotten her on a formula that she tolerates better, we should see some gain. We're running out of time to get to her goal weight so we cant afford any more losing.
Because of that nasty little cough she got we had to go in and subject her to more tests, ultrasounds, and x-rays to make sure that it wasn't in her lungs or that it wasn't because of fluid buildup in her lungs. It was a particulary rough visit (for many different reasons) and after hours of putting Bela through the ringer it was determined that there was nothing to be worried about. I guess it is always better to be safe than sorry but on the particular visit it's hard to say that it was. This all happened on Tues morning and I came home from that apt so frusterated and exhausted. I came home to find a package waiting for me that had no name on it but said 'happy mother's day' on the front. It was the most beautiful photo book that someone made for me with pictures, quotes, poems, and exerps from our blog in it. I took some pictures of it and will post them. It was amazing and touched me so much. I looked through it multiple times and cried and cried. I had to do some digging to even find out who had done such an amazing thing. Thank you... Later that same day two of my sweet neighbors delivered baskets full of fresh fruits and veggies after I had told a few people that I missed having fresh stuff around to eat. Another friend of ours just showed up with dinner which made me cry because it was so appreciated after that day. At one point I looked out the window at our backyard and realized that the grass had yet again been mowed by someone in the ward who has just been showing up for a month now to do that for us. I was so moved by everyone's love and selfless acts of service. I had the chance to rock both Benson and Bela for awhile that night before we all went to bed and it turned out to be a very good day. Thank you all SO MUCH for all you do for us...we really cannot begin to express what it means to us. There have definatley been some very difficult moments throughout this and it has been easier to get through with your help. We know that the Lord both hears and answers our prayers through good people who are willing to take the time to serve.
So, more about Bela... She is soo good lately and we are enjoying her so much. She is DEFINATLEY very high maintenance and requires soo much attention, but she's worth it. SHe has started to smile like crazy and gives me the most smiles in the morning when she wakes up. It's my favorite time. She loves her nights with her continuous feeds. She sleeps pretty much through the night and wakes up so happy and content. I can't wait until the broviac comes out and I can actually give her a bath. She is almost 2 1/2 months old and she's never gotten a real bath, just a sponge bath. It's funny the things you take for granted...I'd love to just be able to do something for her that I know would be soothing for her.
I guess that's the update for now...here's some pictures.




Bela loves her peanut shell..


zooming out shows you how little she is...she's the same size as the scriptures..:)






Bela's book..





A Perfect Day

I held you all day
while you slept
you nursed with your eyes closed
I sang you a song
and kissed your soft face
your brother brought me diapers
and rubbed the top of your head
(maybe a little too hard but you didn't mind)
you looked around when you heard daddy's voice
I bathed you and you cried
you fell asleep wrapped in a soft blanket
in my arms
it is a perfect day
because
we are home.