Tuesday, July 1, 2008

JUNE

We started the month of June out like this:



That day still haunts me sometimes...the thoughts of losing her and wondering if I was strong enough to get through that. I still think back on the day and am in awe of the blessings that were given to us. The blessing of life. We got to the hospital with no time to spare, in fact, her heart was already in full failure by that time. They were ready to help her and they did just in time. My little angel fought until she was where she needed to be to be saved. I still can't utter a word of prayer without thanking my father in heaven for the happeninings of that day. I would get to the hospital in the mornings, and for the first time be compleltey releived to see her this way...comfortable, not doing any work, just resting. She needed a break. Her body had been working so hard, unknown to all of us. Her left lung was completley collapsed with her right lung close to it. Her heart was trying to do so much work to pump with all that extra fluid built up. I just wanted her to take her time, to get strong. A couple weeks later, my little fighter was doing so much better...already breathing tube free and on her road to recovery...again.





Even giving us some beautiful smiles. I love her smiles... They mean the world to me, knowing that she is happy and feeling well.


Now my little Bel is back home...I walk by her bassinet a million times during the day when she is napping just to see her in it. I hated when she wasn't with me, when I'd have to leave my sweet baby at the hosptial and sleep next to an empty bassinet. I love when she's by my side and I can watch her chest rise and fall, alive and well. When she is awake, she is usually in her carrier, watching my every move...she loves to be close to me, and I love to be close to her..



I gave her her first real bath after 4 months.. She loved it. Now she gets one every night...such a simple thing is such a wonderful thing for us..



Here's some pictures from the last week at home...needless to say, we are loving every minute...












Bela had her weekly apt. today with her cardiologist and it was probably the best apt we've had so far. She gave everyone lots of smiles...a very nice change from nonstop crying. Everyone kept commenting on what a different little girl she was being. She's so much happier now. Her echo looked great and best of all....she was up to 8 lbs 14 ounces!! That was 8 ounces in 6 days!! She finally hit 4 kilos, she needs to be to 5 by her surgery, and it feels like we are finally on the way. Now she just NEEDS to stay healthy. We scheduled a tentative surgery date for Sept. 1st. That was a little surreal, and a million emotions passed through me. I'm not sure if I dread that day or look forward to that day...
My friend Kami came with me to my apt. today...I can't really even say how much it meant to me that she would want to come and do that with me. Sometimes I feel sorta alone in all this, and it was so nice to share some of my 'world', the life I live day in and day out, with a friend. SHe really got a full view of that world today too...we had the full apt complete with EKG, vitals, Echo, X-rays, and checks with her docs. We're so blessed with good friends, we can't even begin to expain what it means to be supported through this when it gets hard. It's things like watching Bela go through so much, wondering how it's all going to turn out, never being certain what tomorrow will bring...that make it hard. Somedays I wonder if I can really do all this..it seems that latley so many of Bela's dear heart friends are losing their battles, even into their later years, and it is frightening. We understand that that was the plan for their life, and we know that Bela has one too. I know it's not good to dwell on this, but as a mom, I worry. It's what I do, comes with the job. I'm working on my worry level though. I have to have trust in the Lord, and lean on Him everyday, and be grateful for what we have. Each day is a blesssing, and tonight, I am extremely grateful that the end of June is better than the start of June. We hope for a very uneventful July.. :)

20 comments:

S & K said...

Great post, great pics. and GREAT news all around! I love that girl and she is just so special to me! I love that she's a HAPPY trooper through all that she has to handle, she does have one sweet, absolutely adorable smile too!!!!! :) Thanks again for letting me come along with you, I still just can't believe at how completely and totally amazing you are!!!!! It was so fun to spend time with you and see your world--can't wait to go again. Talk to you soon!

Lily's Mama! said...

I am glad to hear the good news, such wonderful news. She is looking great, love the pics of her and Benson on the couch together. Her color is wonderful, she looks so happy and content. I completely understand feeling alone is all of this...oh how I understand. I will talk with you soon, we might have an over eventful month ahead of us...let us pray it is not the case! Give Bela Kisses for all of us and tell her we are so very proud of her! Sending you hugs!

Likes Chocolate said...

Bela is r.eally looking good. Congratulations on being home!!! Yahoo!!! I know how that feels it is the best.

The Ridgway Family said...

Avery, there are times when I have never felt so alone in all of my life. Know that you and Bela are always at the front of my thoughts and in my prayers. Eden has fought so hard and it is hard to accept that it might be too much for her, but I too know that this is her plan and we are blessed with every day we have with our sweet babies.
Keisa

The Silly Nilly Gasser Family said...

Bless your heart Avery. Amazing. I can not even imagine. Those first pictures and your explanation are just terrifying, and that's not even a tip of what you experience actually going through it. I imagine that is hard to share. Thank you for sharing it. Bless all your hearts. Bella is beautiful. I'm so glad you got to bathe her at home. That is the best ever, and I'm sure only so much more in your case. Love you and best wishes. Jen

Erin said...

What a great post Avery and all the great news!!! Bela definitely looks so much better and happier and seems to be on the right track...in part because she has such an amazing mama!!! You have a strength that is hard to describe and one that few possess. You have come such a long way thanks to that strength and the tender mercies of the Lord...He has never left you alone. Know you have lots who love and care for you and pray for you daily. Hang in there guys...and Bela keep up that good work!!!!

Wendi Romney said...

Such darling pictures, Avery. What adorable children you guys have. We check in often to see how little Bela is doing. We're so happy to hear she is doing so much better and pray for her often. We missed you guys in HB this year, but are so happy that Bela seems to be progressing so well. Hopefully, next year!

Andrea said...

She is beautiful, Avery! So glad things are going well. You continue to amaze me.

WheresMyAngels said...

She is so beautiful! Prayers that July will be uneventful for you all!

The Joslyn Family said...

I love the pictures of Benson and Bela together! She is so cute!! I'm so glad she is home and doing better. She is such a fighter. You guys are amazing!

Carol Fighr said...

Ave, I'm so glad to know that Bela is better now! I hope you know how many people here in Brasil love you and pray for you and your family! we really do!
you all look really really great in the pictures! little Bela is amazing... I just love seeing pictures of her and Benson!
miss u a lot... and praying for an uneventful july too!
love and abraços,
Carol

Karla said...

Oi Avery,
Talves nao lembre de mim, sou sister siqueira. Desde q sua mae me contou sobre sua filhinha temos orado muito pela recuperação da Bela. Ela eh LINDA!!!! E ficamos mais felizes ainda ao saber q ela ja esta em casa junto da sua familia, seus pais e seu irmaozinho LINDO tambem. Tenho admirado muito sua forca e fe e tenho orado ao Senhor pedindo q continue lhe abençoando juntamente com sua familia. O povo do Brasil ama muito sua familia!!!
Eu minha familia estaremos acompanhando cada vitoria da Bela e orando por voces.
Que o Senhor os abençoe!!!
Abraços

Karla said...

Oi Avery,
Talves nao lembre de mim, sou sister siqueira. Desde q sua mae me contou sobre sua filhinha temos orado muito pela recuperação da Bela. Ela eh LINDA!!!! E ficamos mais felizes ainda ao saber q ela ja esta em casa junto da sua familia, seus pais e seu irmaozinho LINDO tambem. Tenho admirado muito sua forca e fe e tenho orado ao Senhor pedindo q continue lhe abençoando juntamente com sua familia. O povo do Brasil ama muito sua familia!!!
Eu minha familia estaremos acompanhando cada vitoria da Bela e orando por voces.
Que o Senhor os abençoe!!!
Abraços

Amber said...

I love the photos! what a beautiful family you have, thank you for sharing your miracle!

Amanda said...

I can't imagine what you guys are going through, but I think of you often. You are in our prayers. You are so strong and positive and I know that Heavenly Father knew that you were the perfect parents for Bela to come to and to go through this with her. I'm sure it's hard to have faith and trust in His plan, but it sounds like you're doing just that.

I love the pictures you posted. I love the close-up of Benson and Bela kind of snuggled together. She's leaning on him. That is precious.

You continue to amaze me with your strength. Keep it up and know that you are thought of often.

cait&brig said...

I love all these pictures, she is so dang cute...and such great news about the appointment and her weight, etc. I just love hearing all about her & can't wait to meet her! xoxo

Mimi said...

So great to hear things are going well. Hooray for weight gain!!!

You guys are doing great through all of this, your in our prayers!

Simmons Family: said...

What a difference a month makes!! Bela looks so happy and strong. I'm so happy to hear that she is gaining weight and home again. Here's to an uneventful July full of relaxing and spending time with Bela in your arms!

Andrea

summer said...

Tanner and Avery, We are friends of Andrew and Ashley Lark. I grew up with Larks. (Actually, babysat for Andrew! I guess that dates me!!) Anyways, Ashely left me a comment on our blog about Bella last month, because we have a 7 month old, Mason, with HLHS also. He had his 2nd surgery in June. (I need to update his story on the left side of his blog) So, when I went to your blog I realized I'd already read some of it, I had linked to it from Gracie Gledhill. They live near us. Small world. I am so sorry to hear about your June happenings. I always say with Mason, I've learned to expect the unexpected. In April I had a similar experience, he went in to tachacardia at home(he has had arythmia issues since his first surgery.) I called 911 cuz he was working so hard to breathe and he was life flighted from our house, I was too scared to drive him. I can only imagine your emotions that day you were tellinh her to breathe on the way to the hospital. We are so blessed as Mothers to have the spirit guide us! Glad she is back home. Our blog is miraclemason.blogspot.com
take care, sincerely, Summer Strickland (sumstrick@gmail.com)

emcghee said...

Great to see those pics from home. And SOOOOOOO glad she is FINALLY gaining weight. Love you