I'm going to attempt to make a post, but really I am so dead tired so I hope it ends up making some sense.. :) Bela hasn't been sleeping too great the last few nights..
Tanner and I are always running into people or hearing of people that say they check our blog a lot. I knew that there were lots of good people out there keeping tabs on Bela and her progress. I keep getting more and more nervous to write posts thinking of how many people might read them... We decided to install a counter on our blog to see just how many people come by to check up on her. In 5 days we've had 2200 people. WOW. At first it made me never want to write again for fear of how many people read this. :) But then it made me amazed to have so many people that care about us and what we're going through. It makes me so grateful to think of so many people supporting us and going through this whole journey with us. Today was a good day because a lot of you spent today fasting and praying for our little girl. It is incredibly touching and comforting.
I read Tanners last post and it sorta made me feel sad. No offense to you Tan :), and not to down play the seriousness of all this, but I hope it didn't convey to everyone else feelings of sadness. Yes, I am feeling very emotional and scared at times, but we could not be more grateful for what we've been given so far. To have had Bela this long, when we were told to expect no time at all. To have had her here in our home, to kiss her goodnight every night. I bring her in bed with me every morning when she first starts to fuss and she goes back to sleep for another hour or so. THen I get to wake up to her beautiful blue eyes and a huge grin. It's my favorite. She is such a tiny little thing, but the spirit she brings into our lives is unbelivably great. I wish everyone could spend time with her and feel of it. We've been so blessed the last two months to have her home and to be in such a good position for this surgery. She is 11 pounds 5 ounces!! That alone is an amazing acheivement for her. She wasn't even 8 pounds yet at 4 1/2 months old. While there is lots and lots about this that is incredibly hard to go through, there has been soo much happiness and joy found along the way. I feel very much at peace that she will be kept in the Lord's hands throughout this surgery and recovery, as she has been for the past 6 months. We all will be. I am feeling very hopeful.
She has been showing us signs for a while now that she is ready, and so for that I am actually anxious for it to come. She is just not a very happy baby most of the time and it gets really hard. I just want her to feel better, and I hope this will do that for her. I want her to be able to eat and not throw up various times each day. I want her to be able to go out and enjoy the world without worrying about germs or getting sick. I can't wait until she can stay awake longer than an hour without getting so worn out.
We will get called in sometime on Tuesday and will do all the pre op stuff as well as have our consult with the surgeons. We'll stay the night and she'll be taken around 7 a.m. in the morning. She is the only case that day cuz it will take most of the day. I'll keep updates frequently...it gives me something to do during the waiting period and uplifts me so much to think that we're not going through it alone. We sooo appreciate your prayers and your support.