So many emotions flood through you when you're going through this... It's really overwhelming to walk back into the room and see her and all the equipment that surrounds her. I thought this time might be easier because we've done this, twice, but it's really not. This was Bel's first surgery with actual corrective work and I'm starting to realize that her first surgery was a piece of cake. But, I do have to say that everything has gone very very smooth. We've been with her now for about four hours. The first three hours were craziness, but it has settled down quite a bit and Bela is just resting very peacefully. Her blood pressures were high at first, but they are right where they should be now. Dr. Nigro, her surgeon, said that all her numbers are right where they should be at this point. He did say that the next 48 hours however will be critical. For now she looks great and we are all SO glad to have this day come to an end. We have a very good nurse tonight (Rhonda, for those that are wondering) and so she will be in good hands.
I feel so helpless through all this. I remembered that feeling immediatley when I walked in the room. Everyone doing so many things to your child and you just stand in the corner and pray. I hear them talk and make decisions to go up on this, go down on that, give her some of this, and you have no say. It's just wierd after having all the say in her care (well, some of it I guess) to having none and just watching and hoping they make the right decisions.
It's just me and my Bela now and I can't even say how much I love this girl. There are A LOT of people on the floor right now, every single room is full which has never happened during our time here. I feel like just telling everyone how amazing she is, how much she's been through, and how far she's come. I am so grateful to be here, to be post Glenn, because we never knew if this day would come for us. Her little body, however weak her anatomy may be, is fighting so hard. Last night she was putting on a show for everyone, smiling, talking, and kicking her arms and legs. I guess she was happy to have made it here too.
I'm going to get in my comfy little cot now to try and get some sleep, but I will post again in the morning. I feel like I can never say this enough, but thank you for being with us today through the blog and for your comments. Thank you for your prayers as well.
I promise pictures will come tomorrow.. We left our cord at home today. :(