Stable and resting

The day has improved, in that Bela has been able to maintain her sats and heartrate all day, but she is still not ready to be pushed at all towards doing more of the workload by herself and getting the breating tube out. We are just glad she's been stable for so long, but I'm hoping to see some progress made towards getting that tube out. THere is only so much progress that can be made in her overall recovery and in how she feels with the tube still in. Once it comes out so much more healing can take place and she'll feel so much better. She is peeing well still and getting more fluid off her, she's not quite so puffy, but getting the tube out is what will really get most of the fluid off.
It's been a pretty quite day which is just great with us! I never again want to go through something like we went through last night. I've never felt that way in my life, I can't even begin to explain what that felt like. I was overwhelmingly scared and helpless and I couldn't stop my body from shaking. I really thought I was watching her die, and it was beyond the worst feeling I've ever experienced. Her nurse was 35 weeks pregnant and said she felt like the whole ordeal almost put her into labor! It was a very good sign however that she did bounce back from it fairly quickly and was able to do it on her own. I was pretty shaken up by it all and am still getting over it. I didn't sleep much last night, I couldn't seem to pull my eyes away from her monitor since it happened so quickly and I was the only one in the room when it all started. But I actually did get a little sleep in today which was good. So we're VERY grateful for a more quiet day, and hopefully she'll stay this way through the night.
Thank you for the prayers, please keep them coming. I know they are blessing her as well as all of us going through this. Please remember all the sweet babies up here right now as well. Everyone keeps saying that there are more 'critical' babies up here right now than ever. There seems to be a crisis going on around here all too often, and the code cart just keeps getting switched from room to room. I was glad to see it get wheeled away from our door this morning, but sad to know it was going to another baby struggling with their fight.. There is so much to be grateful for right now.

Comments

Doreen said…
Hugs to you. Here's hoping for a better night tonight, and hopefully for the tube to come out soon. I have a friend whose baby almost died just about 3 years ago. It was awful to see her on a stretcher, being carried out of their apartment, looking very pale and lifeless. And she wasn't even my own baby. Her struggles are quite different from Bela's, but in a way similar, as well. As in, she's had a few very close calls, and it's so scary. It makes you wish you could just take all that pain away from those babies. You wish they didn't have to suffer. Yet you know there's no other way, and it's so hard. Stay strong, we're still praying for you.
August 30, 2008 at 7:09 PM
Lindsay Dean said…
Oh Avery, I know, I know, I know. We have experienced almost to a "T" what you are right now. We too watched Lindsay turn blue and I thought that that was it. I got nervous, thought I was going to pass out, and then the nurses were there to take care of everything. I thank God everyday that we have come such a long way in our medical advances. We wouldn't be where we are today with our little sweethearts if it was even only 15 years ago! I keep praying for Avery and that she gets stronger and stronger everyday. Sounds like the nurses are just wonderful and love her about as much as you and your family loves her. That is so comforting. Oh, how I want to just reach through this computer and hug you. I know your pain and I am not looking forward to doing this same thing all over again in October. These girls are true blessings and we are lucky to be "heart moms"! Take care and get some sleep. Thinking of you always-
Suzie
August 30, 2008 at 7:09 PM
The Ridgway Family said…
Avery, reading that update took me back our experience with the crash cart and turning blue and I am SO SORRY that you had to go through that. I know that it is horrible and so scary, but the Lord has a plan for Bela and He is so very mindful of her and you and Tanner and benson right now. Try to stay strong and rest as much as possible. I think of you every moment of the day and pray for you constantly.

Love you, Keisa
August 30, 2008 at 8:11 PM
Life Unscripted said…
Avery, how the tears flow each time I read your blogs lately...Bela is not my child but I feel such a connection with her due to Lily. I am glad she is stable right now, that is what her little heart needs. I can not completely understand what you went through but some of it, in a way that is what happend to Lily right before she was vented right before her second ohs....but she never got blue, just a clay color...it was still the worst day of my life and a day that I will never completely shake off.

We just know that each day we have with them is the truest blessing of them all. Try to have a restful night, and I will see you tomorrow.

Heart Hugs and our Love,
Jenna and Lilyana
August 30, 2008 at 8:33 PM
Kjerstin said…
Hey Milnes,
Your Bela is so sweet. We love you and are keeping you in our prayers. When Bela gets through all of this be sure to bring her down to SD and we can all hit the beach together. Hang in there.
Much love,
Kjerstin & Jeff
August 30, 2008 at 8:42 PM
Sally Jensen Interiors said…
So glad for a stable day...
August 30, 2008 at 10:30 PM
Dana said…
I am so glad Bela had a quite day and that you were able to get some rest Avery. We love you guys and continually think about and pray for you.
August 31, 2008 at 7:24 AM
Joy N. said…
We are praying so fervently for Bela and your sweet family. Stay strong...keeping you in our thoughts.
(Billy Hull's sister)
August 31, 2008 at 9:06 AM
Dallas and Krista said…
Can't stop thinking of you all. Glad that she was peaceful yesterday. Loves.
August 31, 2008 at 10:26 AM
Anonymous said…
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding Prov 3:5

Praying that God gives you peace and strength today and in the days ahead...
August 31, 2008 at 1:21 PM
annelise said…
Ave, one can only hope to have such a courage like Bella and be so strong. What a great spirit she is...
praying for all of you...
hugs
August 31, 2008 at 6:00 PM
Kristi Chapo said…
It is so nice to see pictures of you holding little Bella. I can't even imagine after everything you have seen and been through the feelings you must have to hold her in your arms. I am so glad that she is doing better. I can't imagine your joy in possibly being able to take her home soon. It sounds like she has been such a fighter through all of this and I know that she will continue to fight to be here with you, her daddy and big brother. I hope that everything continues to improve and I hope that you are home with her sooner than later. Your are all still in our thoughts and prayers, as well as the other families struggling with this or mourning from it. I hope that things will go well enough that soon you will be able to let your gaurd down and truly breathe. In my eyes, your strength has been just as impressive as your beautiful daughters. Take care, and please give little Bella a kiss from those of us who don't know her, but still love her.
September 10, 2008 at 8:37 AM
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