Bela Girl
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
3 weeks out and doing great!
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Home
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Fontan 9
Saturday, March 10, 2012
This describes you so well. How many times I have wished that I could take this all from you. I try to stay strong when your eyes are looking into mine. When you fall asleep, I cry for the pain you are enduring, and the fear I see in your eyes. Even if someone comes in just to say hi, you do not take your eyes off them, with a nervous look wondering what they will do to you. You are comforted by me laying by you and when you feel my hand in yours. I am grateful I can help you through this in that tiny way..
I watch you endure this with such grace. You are nervous and scared, and sometimes cry, but overall you accept whatever they have to do to you with unbelievable strength and patience. I do not understand why you came in your body and have to go through so much to be on the earth. I do understand however, that you and I both chose this from the beginning. And I do know that we are not asked to go though it alone. Whenever I feel like it's too much, that's when I plead for strength to keep going. And I feel like the burden is lifted just enough, and I am given just enough help to go on. I know it is the same for you. We have to experience the pain and suffering life brings to learn and grow, but we get help when it's all just too much. When you are really really suffering, and I feel so hopeless, we are given a tender mercy. Two days ago when we were told to wait another 2 hours to get your PICC line and you were having such a hard time, I thought there was no way we would make it another 2 hours. You fell asleep for the first time in a day and a half and slept through the extra wait. I'm so grateful for those tender mercies.
Everyone has different trials. Yours is a fragile body and all that entails for you. Mine it seems, is to watch you as you endure it.
Elder Orson F. Whitney said: “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. … It is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire.”
I'm so sorry for all of your suffering, but thank you for giving me the opportunity to develop patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. Thank you for helping us, your family, and others who know you gain what we came here to earth to acquire. You are my angel.
Love,
Mommy
Fontan 8
Anyway, once that was pulled out (all 18 inches of it wrapped up somewhere inside her chest) and she came back to, she immediatley perked up. She felt better from having it out, I could just see the relief in her face. PURE happiness for my heart! She gave us smiles, and oh they were amazing!!
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Fontan 7
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Fontan 5
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Fontan 4
This is Tanner. Avery asked me to give an update. Bela had a good day overall. She woke up a few times and asked for water. She sat up for about 2.5 hours which was great and stayed awake for about 30 min. She was pretty out of it but at least she is not in pain. We have had a dozen updates from the nurses, doctors, and her surgeon all of which saying that "she is doing great." Great day. We could not have asked for better. She is so amazing.
Fontan 3
The surgery is the scary part, the post op is the hard part. What a night! The surgeon told us two things are different this time around that make it much harder... 1. she's older so she'll have to wake up sooner and will feel it more and can also tell us how she's feeling. And 2. that she could be here awhile draining fluid. We are seeing the first.. She whimpers with every breathe. Every hour or so she wakes up in intense pain and has to be given more morphine. She's got a high tolerance to pain meds. She's so uncomfortable and it is literally heart breaking. When she opens her eyes they are so pained and scared. One of us is always right there for when she wakes up a little. All I feel like I can do for her is hold her hand.
Hopefully today we are going to come down on all her meds (she is still getting 6 different ones) and then we should be able to get some of her lines out and by the end of the day the goal is to have her sitting up and drinking. It'll be a big day for her.
The good news is she has pink toes for the first time in her life! look at that toe!
Hopefully today we are going to come down on all her meds (she is still getting 6 different ones) and then we should be able to get some of her lines out and by the end of the day the goal is to have her sitting up and drinking. It'll be a big day for her.
The good news is she has pink toes for the first time in her life! look at that toe!